Bad Night

Not long after my last posting, chaos broke out in my household.  My husband and I were bickering as as usual, when the argument escalated to a whole new level.  I was crying of course (my normal reflexive posture).  Our conversation entered the terrifying realm of divorce.  We've both been so unhappy, since I got pregnant really.  I won't go into the boring details but the outcome was him leaving to spend the night on his boat.  Being 37 years old, and divorced once, I've had my share of relationships fail.  But this is the first time there was a vulnerable, precious child. A completely faultless victim. I cried all night thinking, "What have I done?!  I've brought this beautiful child  into the world and already I'm not sure if I can give her a stable, loving family as I had".  There were tears in my husbands eyes (which I have never seen) when he kissed our daughter goodnight and walked out the door.  He said "We have to work this out.  We can't do this to her".

I know the arguing is exacerbating my fibro.  I know that's why I started feeling bad.  I feel completely drained of energy and life.