OK - it's back. About 5:00 today the aching started again. Then I felt the almost irresistible urge to close my eyes. I laid down and closed my eyes but baby girl was making too much racket with her toys. I drifted in and out of sleep for about a half hour. I then, maybe foolishly, took my daughter on a stroll to visit her dad down at the pier. Getting back up the stairs with her was excruciating. My knees were killing me.
I really need to learn that when I start feeling bad I have to rest. I'm trying to get back in shape but it seems like the day after I exercise I feel weaker instead of stronger. It's counter-intuitive to be sedentary when I'm trying to recover. Exercise is supposed to be a good thing - to make you stronger and healthier - not weaker and sicker.
Tomorrow, I think I'll go to an AA meeting. It's basically the only social life I have. How friggin' pathetic. I'm stuck in this apartment with only the baby day after day. I feel so trapped. The hotel is so quiet this time of year, the phone hardly ever rings. I guess I should try to go to sleep since the baby is sleeping. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow if I get enough sleep. I noticed that how much I sleep is directly related to how I feel.
This is the story of my very frustrating journey through the debilitating and mind-boggling world of Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, Autoimmune Disease, Depression and more.
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