Amitriptyline/ Ativan Reaction

Amitriptyline 50mg Tablets



I've been taking Amitriptyline for the last month and so far, it's helped me more than any other medication I've tried.  I did have an unsettling experience yesterday, however.  When I woke up, I immediately recalled a few bizarre, disturbing dreams I'd had that night.  I'd stopped having sleep disturbances, for the most part, some time ago so I found the dreams puzzling.  I've been taking Ativan/Lorazepam for the last two years to help me sleep.  Doctors have discouraged this and even scolded me for taking it since it's a "controlled substance" and "not to be used as a sleep aid" but that's a story for another post. 

Since I've been taking Ativan and Amitriptyline I've actually been sleeping quite well.  So when I woke yesterday morning I was confused but that feeling vanished the instant I walked into the kitchen and saw the pills sitting on the counter.  Apparently, I'd removed them from the bottles but never actually taken them.  This explained the dreams, as well as proving (to myself mostly) that I wasn't experiencing a placebo effect from either of the drugs. 

My day wasn't going very well, so conflicts with my husband, two year old and the hotel I manage, caused a completemental collapse.  At about ten am, I had a full blown anxiety attack complete with cold sweats, shakes and shortness of breath.  It had been quite a few years since I'd had one, though they were once a very  common occurrence (along with severe panic attacks).  I took a hot shower and calmed down quite a bit.  A couple hours later, however, another attack hit and I found myself laying on my bed, hardly able to catch my breath, shaking uncontrollably and soaked in cold sweats.  My husband, who was formerly an EMT/ fire fighter instinctively took my pulse and got a cool damp cloth for my head.

I've taken Lorazepam on and off for years and never had this kind of withdrawal reaction.  Maybe it was the combination of the two drugs together.  I don't know, but after I took 1mg of Lorazepam during the second attack, I felt much better. 

I recently read a theory that suggests FMS and/or ME/CFS sufferers may acquire a "chemical sensitivity".  In the past, I wasn't typically sensitive to medication side-effects as I am now, so it's a possible explanation.  I only know that I'll never forget to take my pills before bed again!

Amitriptyline is Kicking My Butt!



I've been taking 100mg Amitriptyline for three days now and I and I feel like I've been living in a dense fog - denser than usual I should say.  I'm so tired and zoned out, I can hardly do anything.  The prescription is for 150mg per day so as soon as I feel more normal, I'll have to bump it up even more, which I can't say I'm looking forward to.  I've been off Zoloft for three days, so tonight I'm going to take the first dose of Savella from the titration pack.  I have a feeling this week is going to be difficult until I've adjusted to the new medications.  I've been having problems sleeping again complete with nightmares and disturbing dreams.  The body pain and muscle weakness haven't gotten any better either.  I really am tired of this medication cha-cha, withdrawal symptoms while going off, side effects of the new meds.

Wow - I'm just full of positive words today!

Falling Further Down the Black Hole

My depression has reached a critical level. I don't give a crap anymore about trying a new diet, medication or anything for that matter. I haven't felt this low in a very long time. I physically feel terrible and there isn't much left in my life I have control over. I'm blessed to have a wonderful therapist who I've been keeping in regular contact with and who is closely monitoring my situation. I'm still taking about 10mg of Cymbalta per day and can't seem to lower he dose much more without suffering withdrawal.

I made the decision today that I will no longer be able to fulfill my responsibilities as manager here at the hotel. My cognitive impairment has gotten worse and worse. I spent quite a bit of time today on the phone apologizing to guests who apparently had made reservations but that I had no recollection of, or paper work on. I'm not used to making so many mistakes. I have often, in the past, held positions which required serious detail orientation, commitment and work ethic and are qualities I have always prided myself on. I guess those days are gone and hopefully only temporarily.

My marriage is seriously on the rocks and shows no sign of getting better. Now I'll be almost completely financially dependent on my husband and just the thought seems to choke off my air. My almost stubborn self-sufficiency is something I have also had pride in. There are some people I wouldn't mind having to depend on but my husband isn't one of them. I know he'll rub my face in it and it'll become a game of trade-offs. He pays for stuff so I'll have to do things for him in return. It's already that way to a large extent and will only get worse.

So, I'm not able to take care of my daughter, I'm not able to do my job and I'm not able to do things that need to be done to upkeep our home. What can I do? Not much.

I have yet to call the owners of the hotel to tell them I'll have to take a medical leave. That's going to be yet another humbling experience that I think I'll save for tomorrow.

Crashing Down Off the Alpha Nutrition Wagon

Okay so it's now day 7 on the Alpha nutrition diet. My mental state has made it very difficult to maintain any type of discipline. Yesterday I didn't write down anything I ate or any of my symptoms although the severity of my symptoms don’t seem to have changed much. Today I also did not write down anything I ate or any of my symptoms and I ate an entire small pepperoni pizza which made me feel like I was going to puke for about an hour.  The pizza was a bit too well done but it still tasted good!

Last night I intentionally skipped my 20 mg Cymbalta dose for the first time. I felt okay until the late afternoon today when I started feeling lightheaded and nauseated. These symptoms got worse as the evening progressed so I decided to take a pill to minimize my discomfort. It seems to have helped with the nausea but I'm still a bit lightheaded. My plan is to take the 20 mg dose as soon as I begin to feel lightheaded.  Hopefully the duration between doses will get longer and longer until I can stop taking it all together.

I wrote this in one of my previous posts and I’ll write it again.  Cymbalta is evil!  I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.  It’s a very harsh drug with very harsh and dangerous, even life threatening side effects. If I had gone through with some of the crazy, violent obsessions going through my mind the other night, my life would either be over or I would be in jail. I’m not exaggerating in the slightest.  Since the episode three nights ago, both my therapist and medical doctor have been calling regularly to check up on me and are very concerned about my mental state.   As I’ve mentioned several times before, I’ve taken many different drugs for depression and Fybromyalgia and this is one of the worst!  I can’t wait till I’m completely free of it.

Day 4 - 10/22/11 - Alpha Nutrition Diet for Aching and Fatigue

Still feeling like crap...

Symptoms
(0=mild to no discomfort 10=most severe discomfort/ pain)

3:00pm
Shortness of Breath - 4
Fatigue - 7
Headache - 2
Backache - 7
Eye Pain - 2
All-Over Body Pain - 6

Food Log
9:00am - 1 cup rice cereal, 1/2 cup rice milk,
10:00am - 1/3 cup ENF Formula
3:00pm - 6 peach slices, fruit ice pop
1:00pm - 1 cup rice, 1 cup broccoli & carrots, 1/3 cup ENF Formula
4:30pm - 2.5oz can salmon, large mango smoothie
6:00pm - 1cup rice, 1 cup broccoli & carrots, 1 cup rice cereal & 1/2 cup rice milk
9:00pm - 5 rice crackers

Medications taken at bedtime:
Cymbalta: 20mg, Welbutrin: 150mg, Lorazepam: 2mg

Am I Missing Something?

Either I've missed something major in my research or my cognitive abilities have been more compromised than I thought.  If anyone reading this post could offer some insight I may have missed I would really appreciate it.

For the past year and a half I've learned more than I care to about antidepressants (SSRIs, SNRIs, Trycyclic, etc.) and other forms of medication from pain killers to anti-convulsants and sedatives.  I've been prescribed about ten different medications (so far) by several doctors as I've tried desperately to get some relief from my illness.  Right now I'm taking 200mg Welbutrin, 60mg Cymbalta, 100mg Neurontin and 2mg Lorazepam once daily.

Actually, antidepressants are far from new to me.   I've been taking them for about fifteen years.  I've suffered with depression for as long as I can remember with my earliest memory of being depressed taking place in my second grade classroom.  But it wasn't until 1995, while I was attending college, that I was finally diagnosed  with Major Depression and medicated.  Since then I've probably taken most of the antidepressants on the market.

About eight years ago I developed severe Panic Disorder and started taking Lorazepam for acute attacks.  After my panic became partially controlled I used Lorazepam on occasion to help me sleep.  A year and a half ago when I became ill with Fybromyalgia my sleep was severely disrupted as it is with many sufferers.  I couldn't stay asleep and I was plagued with disturbing dreams and horrible nightmares.  I started taking the Lorazepam again and it magically helped me sleep without any noticeable side effects.        

OK so, here's where the confusion starts. The last two doctors I've seen have insisted that I stop taking Lorazepam due to it's "addictive" nature.  I've been prescribed other medications that are meant to replace it, the latest and greatest of which is Neurontin.  I took the prescribed dosage for about six weeks and never experienced any reduction in the side effects which were SEVERE and included nausea, dizziness, migraine headaches, confusion and excessive tiredness.

I'm not understanding the logic here.  Although Lorazepam is supposedly addictive, I've been taking it on and off for eight years.  When I do take it, I'm able to get a good night's sleep, wake up feeling rested and without side-effects.  I've gone days and even weeks in the past without taking it and never experienced any type of withdrawal (which I have from other medications).  The fact that Lorazepam is addictive seems beside the point in this case.  It has worked well for me consistently and I haven't had any ill effects that I'm aware of.  The same cannot be said about the drugs that have been prescribed to replace it.  What am I missing?  Is there some type of stigma attached to the prescribing of Lorazepam (Ativan) in the medical community?  Is it some kind of taboo?  I 'm thoroughly baffled and can think of no other reason that my doctors would be so adamant that I not take it.  Any insight on this?