My cousin, who I haven't seen in fifteen years, is visiting us for two days. We've been doing a lot of catching up. She's been telling us about her adventures hiking all over the world and mentioned wanting to do some hiking while she was here on the island. I gave her a hiking map and sent her on her way. She hiked the trails I used to hike regularly but haven't seen the summits of for over a year. I said that I'd love to go with her but that I'm not able to since Fybromyalgia took over my life. I don't know if she really understood but she acknowledged what I said and went on her way. I went home to take a nap since I'd overexerted myself big time walking as far as I had. I viewed her pictures of the Pacific Ocean from the other side of the island when she got back and I knew I may never see those views with my own eyes again.
My husband is back for a few days before he returns to the mainland to take care of things with his mom. She's out of the hospital but not doing very well. I suppose they're just trying to treat her symptoms and pain now.
I took my daughter to the doctor today for her one year check up. My mom, who is visiting from NJ, came with me since I am unable to pick my daughter up and carry her for any length of time. My mom carried her into the exam room and to the scale to have her weighed. I felt like and unfit mother. I can barely take care of my own child. When I found out she'd only gained 1.75 pounds since her last check up three months ago my heart ached. The doctor said she was still within average limits but I felt negligent anyway. I'm beyond frustrated. Will I ever be able to live again?
This is the story of my very frustrating journey through the debilitating and mind-boggling world of Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, Autoimmune Disease, Depression and more.
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