Still Waiting...

Yesterday I summoned all the energy I had, got my daughter ready and carried the stroller and her down two flights of stairs to get out to the sidewalk in front of where we live.  On days when I feel "good" this is what I have to do to check the mail or go to the market.  When I get to the sidewalk I have to walk to the market and post office or anywhere else in town I want to go.  Many people on the island own a golf  cart to get around but we don't have one.  There's a fifteen year wait to get an actual car on the island. 

So anyway, I gathered up some of the articles I mentioned in one of my last posts and put them in an envelope.  I typed a short note to my doctor and my daughter and I walked to the clinic.  Well, I walked, she sat. I dropped the envelope off at the front desk and then we had to walk back.  By the time we were walking back I was feeling horrible.  I was sweating profusely, I felt short of breath and my legs were weak.  When we finally got home I nearly passed out.  Something I used to do with such ease and speed is now like going on an expedition.  I used to run up and down the stairs to my apartment not thinking twice about just running out for something I forgot at the market then running back, my respiration only slightly faster than it was before.  Now I can leave the apartment only once a day if I'm lucky.  There are many days I wouldn't be able to even walk down the stairs never mind walk anywhere.  There are many days I never leave my apartment.

I still haven't heard anything from my doctor.  I left two messages and of course the documents.  Maybe it's just taking time for her to digest them.  And so I wait another week.

Freaked Out

I had told myself that I wasn't going to talk about the mycoplasma issue anymore.  It was really starting to make me crazy.  I can see how conspiracy theorists get so consumed.  It's really disturbing to think that there are people out there who would allow so many people to live in misery just to keep their secret.  It really gives me a sad feeling. 

Anyway, I'm still waiting to hear back from my Dr.  This is how we poor uninsured people get medical treatment.  You just have to wait until they have time for you.  Meanwhile I feel like crap.  Maybe I'll call the clinic again today and see if I can get some answers.  She'll probably just up the meds I'm already on.  I'm going to ask her though if she's ever heard anything about the mycoplasma controversy. 

In the meantime we're having a big NE wind storm here today.  The boats out in the harbor are rockin' n rollin'.  It's forecast to get much worse.  Up to 30kt gusts!  I'm so glad I'm not living on a boat out there anymore.

And Now The Defense.....

In the spirit of equality, I felt it was only fair to show both sides of this mycoplasm debate.  Last night I found the two case studies mentioned in one of the documents.  One was done by the US Army and the other by the Department of Defense.  Their findings were pretty similar.  I could only find the Army study again.  Here is the link:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11218212

Last night I was up until midnight (which is really late for me).  I got caught up in a web tornado and couldn't escape.  My husband finally made me turn off the computer.  "This stuff is gonna make you crazy"  he said.  He was right.  I also spent too much time on the computer today.  The more I clicked, the weirder it got.  There are a lot of really scary conspiracy theories out there.  Some of them have some pretty convincing data backing them up though.  I looked at message boards, US patents, blogs and research papers.  All I can say is, I think there are a lot of questions that need to be answered.....truthfully.   And if this stuff is true, we've got a much bigger problem on our hands than we ever thought we did.

I'm still waiting for my doctor to call me back.  I'm still feeling pretty lousy.  I guess she's trying to get a hold of her Rhumatologist friend.  I don't know.