ER Visit Follow-Up

The day after my very disappointing experience in the psych screening department at the hospital, I received an interesting phone call.  The woman who called, introduced herself as a psychiatrist from the hospital's Mental Health Department.  She began by apologizing for the fact that I had not been admitted to the hospital the previous day.  She said she was very disappointed and that admitting me would have absolutely been the right thing to do.  She was concerned about me and tried to get me to come back in, saying that I wouldn't have to go through screening again, I would be admitted straight to the hospital.  I told her I was leaving for California the day after tomorrow and was just trying to wait out the sickening depression that had most likely been induced by the Prednisone.  I told her my family was here, aware of the situation and watching me very closely.  She told me she was still concerned and asked again if I wouldn't feel better just coming to the hospital.  When I refused, she gave me her cell phone number and said I could call at any time, even in the middle of the night.  I thanked her for the call and hung up.

I guess it makes me feel a little better that someone at the hospital took my condition seriously.  I don't know, I had felt really abandoned that day in the ER and that had only exacerbated my depression.  It's shocking that someone can go to an ER saying they're so depressed they'd rather be dead and not be admitted.  It's just another example of my asking for help with this thing and not getting it, although, in fairness, many have honestly tried. 

I'm back home in CA and feeling the same or worse than I did when I left seven weeks ago.  Dr. Podell wasn't able to help me mostly due to the fact that he was only in NJ for a short time.  He is an excellent doctor though who does know a lot about ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia and seems to be really up-to-date with the current research.  If you live in NJ, NY or PA and are looking for a good doctor check out his website:  http://www.drpodell.org/.  He considers himself a practitioner of "Integrative Medicine" which merges traditional western medicine with alternative approaches.  I'm not a big believer in most "alternative" practices so I was glad to find that he was sceptical as well and only used alternative approaches that had been thoroughly studied.  His website is a bit mis-leading in the section where he writes about treating Fibromyalgia with anti-virals (Valcyte).  Since that was written, he's apparently had a change of heart about that option.  I asked him about it and I got the impression that he hadn't gotten as good results from the anti-viral treatments as he'd hoped and wasn't prescribing them anymore.  

On to the next thing.....

My Very Unproductive Visit to the ER

Yesterday I spent five hours in the ER, where I never saw a doctor or got treatment of any kind for my severe depression but was instead discharged and told on the way out that if I didn't send in the Charity Care applications forms asap I would be receiving a whopping bill in the mail. How can this be you ask?  Read on....

If you read my last post you know that I've been having problems with Prednisone this past week.  Needless to say, I did not get the same miracle-like results from it that I had gotten a year and a half ago.  I spoke to my doctor and he agreed I needed to get off it, but you can't just quit Prednisone cold turkey, you have to taper the doses.  He gave me a three day taper of 30mg - 20mg - 10mg.  The day before I felt pretty bad but yesterday I was so deeply down I really wanted to be dead.  I was so depressed I thought I would throw up.  My limbs were tingling from the psychological pain and my hands were shaking.  My chest hurt and felt heavy - I was truly scared and could do nothing but curl up in a ball.  I couldn't even talk to anyone.  When I called my doctor again, he told me to go to the ER. 

My dad knows someone who works for county mental health services.  He called and explained my situation and she told him to have me go to the ER and that there would be someone there waiting for me.  When I got there, there wasn't really anyone waiting for me, but I didn't have to wait too long before being taken into psych. screening.  

If you've never been in a psych hospital department before, it can be a little scary.  You can't wear your own clothes or have ANY of your own items with you including cell phone, purse, etc.  It all gets locked up by guards who patrol the hallway.  Food is served on Styrofoam trays with Styrofoam plates and plastic spoons - no knives or forks.  The bathroom door doesn't lock but the door to your room locks from the outside if you close it all the way.  The room contains only a bed (complete with tie-down straps), one pillow and two shabby blankets.  The TV is up near the ceiling encased in metal grates and thick plastic. There's one remote to go around and after a certain time the volume is turned so low you can hardly hear it anyway.

I spent the better part of the day there curled up in my gown on the bed.  People came in to talk to me, to make sure I wasn't going to hurt myself and I had blood drawn and gave a urine sample.  I layed there for hours.  No doctor came to talk to me and I wasn't given any medication to ease my suffering.  At about 8pm a woman came in to tell me that they hadn't been able to reach my therapist so they weren't sure what to do and I could go home if I wanted to.  I asked if I would be able to speak to a doctor.  She said there wasn't a psychiatrist on the premises right now but that she could get one on a video conference.  I reluctantly agreed.  About ten minutes later I was lead to a room with a TV screen.  I spoke to the Dr. for about three minutes and she basically told me there was nothing she could do and that I would just have to wait out the symptoms until the Prednisone was out of my system.  I thanked her and they discharged me.  I was out the door twenty minutes later and still depressed as hell.